Relationship

One of the most important reasons for breakups: Cheating. Why do men cheat on? Once a cheater always a cheater? Here’s the answer…

We all know some people who got divorced because of cheating or two people that broke up because of it or people who stay away from marriage just because to avoid being cheated on. Unfortunately, these examples keep growing day by day. And this kind of situation does not belong to only one gender. Even if the deception seems to belong to only men, the number of women who cheat on their partners is a lot. Why do people cheat? Does the cheating one is actually the deceived one?

It is more common in married men

According to the expert’s men usually cheat because they want new experiences sexually for which they resort to Male Enhancement Pills and several other types of pills as well. Women cheat on because of emotional reasons. And this kind of behavior is not a new problem. Cheating was a very popular problem in relationships yesterday, and today it still has the same place in relationships. It is interesting that in researches when someone says “cheating on” both men and women think about the “men”. Because men are the potential guilty ones about this. And a lot of people think that cheating does not fit on women. And another interesting fact is that the ratio of cheating between married people is much bigger than the ratio between single couples. First of all, if we talk about men, experts say that when a man puts the ring on his finger, his testosterone level decreases and he just wants to prove himself by keeping his excitement alive. And this is the summary that why the ratio of cheater men is higher than women.

It is harder for women to cheat

And when it comes to women, the scale is completely different. The cheating women ratio is smaller than men. And when she does, she feels in dilemma between her feelings and society. And instead of having a one-night stand, women tend to have a long-term, emotional relationship. According to the experts, if a woman is not happy, there is a great chance for her to cheat on but this could be very different according to the woman’s personality. Not being happy, the intelligence of the new partner, not being satisfied, falling in love, the neglect of the partner, proving herself, revenging her partner, and making a good career are some reasons that make women tend to cheat on.

A man who suffered may not cheat on again

If a man suffered enough, has regrets, has something missing from her life, we may assume that he is not going to cheat again. Because people tend to decide on doing something according to their past experiences. It interestingly seems that the attitude like “he cheated on once, it is an addiction now” is the actual reason for people to cheat on again. Because the partner who has been cheated on has a huge feeling of insecurity and increases the controlling because she/he thinks that being cheated on is her/his fault.

You will find different definitions of relationships on online dating sites. But it doesn’t work like that. We act as though we understand the nature of relationships and then try to confine our relationships to that definition as if that will maintain its integrity. But doing that often is what leads to relationship problems.

We conceive of a relationship as a static thing and believe we can form ourselves into a “relationship” rather than be in a process of relating. We say, “We are now in the relationship of marriage. Let’s work on each person so they can conform to their part in this relationship arrangement.” This takes the wonder and magic and evolutionary potential out of what can happen when two or more people relate to each other from a place of truth.

A relationship is an unfolding, evolving, dynamic process. The only commitment there can truly be is the commitment to be true to yourself. This includes being true to your feelings in relation to other people. The commitment is being true to what actually exists between the people involved. This includes a commitment to an ongoing process of moving through whatever is in yourself that avoids what is true.

Relationships are a grand experiment. They are going into the unknown. They are coming into the present moment with themselves in relation to another.

Because they open up more perspectives than just your own perspective, they open up a larger picture of reality, and therefore more opportunities for evolving. It is much harder to maintain a distorted picture of reality within a relationship with another person. Although it’s also true that two people can interlock with each other’s emotional defense systems and reinforce them for each other. But usually, sooner or later these defense systems will come in conflict with each other.

We don’t know how relationships are supposed to be. And we don’t know how any particular relationship is supposed to be. It’s a process of discovery. For this kind of conscious and evolved relationship to work, each party has to approach it with no investment in receiving something in particular, other than whatever turns out to be true. In other words, they can’t be leaning on the relationship to make themselves whole. Or at least they must be unattached enough to the outcome so that they are willing to expose where they are leaning on it, in the process of their own personal growth.

Many people see allowing a relationship to be what it is, rather than making a commitment to a form, as lacking instability and security. But what I’m describing is a more evolved form of stability, based on a commitment to what is true between each other, rather than a commitment to an agreed-upon form. This puts the whole process in the hands of a larger source (the Divine, the Universe, God, or whatever you want to call it), which opens things up in ways beyond human imaginings, and outside of the control of our emotional defense systems.

A major reason people get invested in locking themselves and others into some kind of form is to compensate for unconscious, early-childhood, limiting decisions they have made, often having to do with not being lovable, valuable, worthy of respect, safety, and so on. And they try to make relationships solve that for them.

A committed, healthy relationship is where the connection of love between each person is acknowledged, and there is a commitment to be true to that love, and the particular form that is actually true for them. The form that ends up being true could very well fit into a marriage kind of form, or it may not. It may be developing some completely different kind of form of relationship.